Daddy Dearest

Since time immemorial, mothers have always hogged the limelight for their children’s success and even for the failures. Because we children have made our way into this world from our mother’s womb, the relationship between us and our mothers have always been special and distinguished. And all this while when mothers bask in the glory of being penned in poems, movies and many art forms, I feel sorry for all the equally wonderful fathers who have always been sidelined from the same glory many a time.

Maybe it is our social and cultural construct that compels our fathers to engross themselves in bringing bread and butter to our tables and leave them no time to work on the special bond with us like our mothers do. But somehow we always know that they are there for us, the protective shield of the family. Unlike mothers, fathers rarely show even the tiniest bit of their emotional streak. They tend to bring about a certain air of formality even in the most informal relationships we share as close knitted families. Fathers are the first towering personalities we witness as a child which in many cases seems to fade with each passing year and in some cases only grows stronger.

Because fathers do not always know how to express themselves as our mothers and always stay neutral during petty brawls in the family, children see themselves distanced from them. I know so many of my friends who do not feel to need to talk to their fathers until they need their father’s signature in some documents and just a nod to get an approval to do something.

For mothers their relationship with their children is innately strong and it shows irrespective of the gender and age of the child. But for fathers it is always a tricky to deal, especially during the adolescent years of their children. Having been through the same stage as their son, fathers prefer to keep a safe distance from their sons with only occasional advices and let them know things on their own. Well as for the daughters, they know they possible can’t have a say, when the mothers tend to them form such close quarters. All that fathers do is begin treating their little princess like a lady in the making. So as children reach the threshold of adulthood, fathers who presumed to have taken the right step from refraining temporarily into the adolescent years of their children are left with awkward conversations and even more awkward silences in the remaining years.

Fathers do not acknowledge their yearning to be acknowledged because that is how their fathers and their grandfathers always preferred. With just a faint smile they thank us for making them proud but rarely do they show their upset expression. It is especially during our crisis filled times when mothers break into wails with us (and then to comforting hugs), fathers are there to give us the smile of hope and an encouraging pat on our backs to get us going again. So this Father’s day, I would like to thank all the fathers for being there for their children and family and never complaining about not being acknowledged for who they are. Happy Father’s Day!
Bhrikuti Rai